


You Started It

by Anonymous



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Dramatics, Getting Together, Growing Up, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Misunderstandings, Roughhousing, accidental confessions, boys like flowers, boys not dealing well with their feelings, but most happens when they are underage, covers from children to adults, dumb boys, loving insults, magical made up lands, minor overdramatics, seasons last forever, some jealousy, some wallowing in self pity, violence of the pigtail pulling kind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 09:45:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19129528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Yuri and Otabek were born far away from each other, but thanks to a magic tree, they get to meet twice a year for a day.





	You Started It

The year Victor from the Summerlands walked into town, everything changed. It’d been decades since the last time a foreigner set foot in the Springlands. Grandpa had arrived with the last of them as a child, and after that, nothing. His family settled at the top of a hill, close to a stream, and remained there alone until Victor rented one of the spare rooms. Though he liked to boss Yuri around, he never told him what he was up to.

It was always the same. He was old enough to work for him, but not old enough to know. For months, he was only allowed to look from afar as he worked on strange things by the trees. Every once in a while, he’d disappear among them. It didn’t matter how much Yuri asked, he’d never tell him, just flick his forehead and say, "If you can’t figure it out without asking, then you don’t deserve to know. You wouldn’t get it anyway."

In two years he’s come to accept it. Victor isn’t Grandpa, crying and begging won’t get him the answers, only force will. Following him, no matter how sneaky he is, also won’t get him anywhere. Victor is full of tricks and always gets away, which would be fine if he didn’t keep a tally of all his attempts to mock him with.

Yuri has some tricks up his sleeve too. The hunters are very talkative and helpful, eager to teach about all sorts of traps. Over the past few days, he’s been practicing on animals, and now he is ready. Let’s see if he still isn’t good enough to know when he has Victor at his mercy.

Begging won’t help him much either, and after he tells him the truth, he might even leave him trapped for a day or two. That’ll teach him the right way to treat sweet, adorable children.

The trap isn’t behaving like it should. It looks good, but when some damn rabbit walked over it and fell through, nothing happened. The spikes did nothing to it. Stupid, lying hunters. Yuri rolls a large rock into the hole and starts taking apart the remains. All those days, carving and digging for nothing. Everyone mocks him, he’ll teach them all. They are added to the list, after Victor.

Thud!

Yuri turns towards the noise. It was a little up the hill, did someone fall into one of his trial traps? He sneaks up there, careful not to be seen and peeks from around a tree.

It’s not Victor or any of the hunters. Not someone he has seen around town for that matter. It’s a boy, a couple of years older than him, with dark hair and wearing a coat too warm and heavy for the day. He keeps staring at the ground and the trees, so he doesn’t notice Yuri get near. Not even when he crouches next to him, he is too busy looking up at the sky and the clouds.

The boy is kind of dumb, though. He’s lifted his eyes to look directly at the sun, so he isn’t a threat and clearly needs his help. Like a helpless toddler. It must hurt since he flinches and looks away pretty often, but his eyes keep making it back to the sun.

“You’re not supposed to stare at it, stupid,” Yuri says, putting a hand over his eyes.

The boy startles and knocks his hand away, it stings a little. It’s only fair that he smacks him back, so he does and leaves a red mark on his forehead.

His eyes go wide for a moment, then he glares daggers at him. Instead of thanking him for saving his eyes, the boy is fast to push him to the ground. Yuri reacts in time to catch his hands with his own. Their fingers interlock as they struggle. In a second, he hovers on top of Yuri trying to overpower him.

“Go pick on someone your size, you bully.”

“You started it,” he says, right before Yuri kicks him on the side. He loses balance, and tries to anchor himself by holding him, but ends up dragging him along down the hill. They don’t roll far, but there are enough bumps and rocks to hurt. Those bruises will last.

They lay side by side, breathing hard.

“Why were you up on the tree?” Grandpa forbade Yuri from climbing long ago because it was too dangerous.

“My brother said if I climbed to the top of the tallest tree, I’d be able to see the sun.”

Yuri turns his head to the side, and their eyes meet. “Then he is as dumb as you are, you can see it from anywhere. It’s always there.”

The boy shakes his head. “I’d never seen the sun before today.” He faces straight up again, with a slight smile. “Or a sky so blue. Or trees so green.”

Never? Was he locked in a room blindfolded his entire life? His eyes are even watering as if it’s some sort of beautiful, magical thing. Like one of those kittens that never grow up. It’s the same old thing from every day, and he needs to go out more often.

“You’re weird.” Almost as weird as Victor… could it be? “Are you from the Summerlands?” Things are different there. It would explain why he’s never seen anything.

He shakes his head. “I’m from the Autumnlands. Are these the Summerlands? I heard  they were beautiful, but I never thought this much.”

“Springlands.” The Autumnlands are far away, it’s been generations since anyone from there traveled this far. Which means he would have had to see the sun and many other things on the way, and never have set eyes on his homeland. “How did you get here?”

“I don’t know, I climbed up the tree and there was a bright light. After I fell, I was here and so were you, being annoying.”

Yuri sticks out his tongue, but he isn’t angry. “It must be a very different place.” It’d have to be if he’s never seen the sun or the trees. “That means that I get to show you everything!” Yuri smiles wide, grabs the boy’s hand as he stands and starts to pull him up and around.

They stop in front of a tree, and Yuri crouches. “What is your name?”

“Otabek.”

“Otabek.” Yuri turns and holds open his hand. “This is a rock.” He places it in the middle of his palm.

There is no surprise or wonder on his face or anything. Slowly, he raises his eyes to meet his. “I know what a rock is.”

How was he supposed to know that? Yuri’s eyes scan the place, there must be something he can use to distract him from this. “Do you have these?” He pulls a flower from a nearby bush and pretty much shoves it on Otabek’s face. It lights up.

“Not like this one.”

For the next few hours, he shows everything he can think of to Otabek, most of which he probably already knew. Soon, he can tell when he likes something, the sparkle in his eye always gives it away. It’s mostly flowers and some insects.

When he’s run out of things, he starts to share his life. A lot is about Victor and his plans for defeating him. From behind a rocky hiding place near the stream, he pulls out a knife he stole from one of the hunters. It’s his most prized possession, for it is what will bring him victory.

“...and when I get my hands on him, he will regret everything.”

“You’re going to stab him?” His voice trembles and his face goes pale.

Yuri looks at it, then back at him. “I was going to shave his eyebrows and if I can, his hair. He’ll be so embarrassed he won’t leave his room for a year.” Maybe it wasn’t such a good plan after all. Otabek is older, more experienced at life, he must know better. “You think I should stab him?”

“No!” He raises his hands towards him.

Yuri jumps back, startled. For a second, neither one moves, then Otabek stares intently at the knife.

“Oh no,” he whines, “it’s broken. You won’t be able to use it that way.”

Is it? That would ruin his plans. Yuri checks the knife. “No, it isn’t.” It's as good as when he stole it.

“It is, right there.” Otabek points at a part of the blade that is not broken at all. “Here, hand it over, I’ll show you.”

That sounds so fake, it wasn’t even a little bit real… but what if he is right? It’s his first hunting knife, how would he know? He has to be sure he’ll be able to use it. Yuri hands it over, handle first.

Otabek steps closer to him, turning it around and pointing up and down the blade. “If you look here closely—”

Yuri blinks. One second, the knife was right there in his hand and the next, it’s somewhere in the distance, splashing in the stream. Just like that, it's gone. His revenge, his victory, his weeks of planning, all gone. Rushing away from him, not leaving a trace behind.

Chasing Otabek isn’t easy. He is older, with longer, stronger legs, and even if Yuri has the advantage of knowing the land, it’s not enough. They are able to keep up evenly until they are both panting again.

There is something about him, that even when he threw away something he has been working on for weeks, he can’t stop himself from smiling along. It’s fun. Being with him is a lot of fun.

He chases him again, up and down the hill, and around the trees. They fall a few times, and his pants get torn and dirty, as does Otabek’s coat, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters anymore.

It isn’t until Otabek leans on a tree to catch his breath and disappears in a bright light that Yuri stops smiling.

“No.” After he runs to the tree, he smacks the bark several times. “Come back to me, come back.”

Even though he stays there until the sun is low in the sky, he doesn’t come back.

The next day, he forgets all about Victor and his chores and heads straight to the tree. The tallest one, which otherwise blends with the rest. He doesn’t come back.

Over the next few days, he does the same. From sunup to sundown, he sits on the hill, waiting. He doesn’t come back.

Grandpa finds him one day, and through tears, Yuri tells him about his friend. At first, he is happy but then forbids him from talking to him again. It doesn’t matter, because he doesn’t come back.

And so, Yuri stops waiting. That is what he tells Grandpa anyway. Every couple of days, he walks up to the tree and says, “Bring him back to me, please.”

It doesn’t, not even when he shares his birthday cake with it. It just slides down the bark as a useless offering.

When it does bring him back, six months have passed.

It’s much like the first time, but without the falling. One moment Yuri is alone by the tree, and then a light flashes and he isn't.

Otabek is there, real and as if he’d never left his side, hugging him tightly. “I tried to come back every day,” he says into his hair.

Hearing those words lifts a weight off his chest, which he didn’t notice had been building for months. He wraps his arms around Otabek too. “Grandpa says we shouldn’t be friends.” For once, Grandpa might be in the wrong, though. He shouldn’t have said it, Otabek will leave him again.

“Why?”

“He says you are a bad influence and that if you try to get me to stab anyone again I should tell an adult.”

“But I didn’t!” Otabek pulls him away, and Yuri pouts. “I can go, do you want that?”

Yuri shakes his head, not even thinking about it for a second. A friend, that’s what he wants. Their time together was short but fun. But what if Grandpa is angry at him?

“Then we can still be friends. It’ll have to be our secret, just you and me, okay? And then one day, we’ll be adults and no one will be able to tell us what to do.”

Yuri smiles and nods. That might work, and meanwhile, he gets to keep Otabek all to himself.

 

* * *

 

They've seen everything there is to see in the Springlands, what more does he want? He can't continue feeding his dumb obsession with the flowers because, at this point, Yuri has gifted him all. What does he want with them anyway? They are pretty, but not very interesting.

The day just goes on, with Otabek sitting above him on the large rock, giving him his back. He ended up getting there when Yuri tried to pull him places, as usual.

Even though he claims the Autumnlands are colder, he shows no signs of being bothered by the heat. What is he made of? Yuri is melting on the stream, the water barely covering his legs. He splashes it a bit with his fingers.

Otabek sighs. "You don't have to be so upset about it."

Yuri glares at him, he hasn't stopped looking at his dumb flower. They haven’t spend any time together, all day he’s been acting strange and avoidant. One excuse after another. "I'm not upset. I don't even care anymore."

"I'll take you when you're older, but not for now. You're too little, what if something happens?"

"I'm not little! I turned nine some days ago."

"That's still too little."

"I'm the same age you were when we met, and you've been crossing ever since." Yuri stands and approaches Otabek's rock.

When he notices him, he turns to continue giving him his back. "Fine."

Fine? Yes, he didn't actually think he'd listen to him. There is so much to prepare for. He'll finally see his home and—

"But only if your grandpa gives you permission, and you have to promise you'll behave."

Yuri tries to climb the rock and get a hold of Otabek to make him pay, but he slips and falls butt first into the stream. "You know I can't ask, he doesn't want us to be friends."

Otabek turns to look at him, smirking, and shrugs. "Then I guess we'll have to stay." Leaning down on the rock, he offers a hand to pull him up.

As if he needs his help. He doesn't need anything from him. That jerk won't stop him from crossing forever. In a few years, he won't be a child anymore, and no one will be able to tell him what to do or when. No one will be able to ground him either.

Yuri grabs his hand with one hand, then the other and pulls with all his strength. He only has a second to celebrate before he regrets everything. It wasn't a good move, Otabek fell right on top of him, and squashed him. At first, all he does is look at him, it takes him too long to react. Once he does, it’s just as bad.

As he tries to get up, he keeps slipping and accidentally digging his elbows and knees on him, too clumsy for their good. They are lucky their heads remained above the water. When he recovers enough to breathe without feeling on fire, Yuri pushes him away. Everything hurts.

At least Otabek drags him out of the stream after he almost murdered him. When he gives him his back again, Yuri jumps on him and drags him down. He’ll regret what he did. Otabek gets the upper hand pretty fast, and soon enough Yuri has his face in the mud with his arms on his back and Otabek sitting on him. It doesn’t matter how much he struggles, his grasp stays firm.

“Someday I’m gonna grow taller and stronger than you, and then I’ll be the one on top,” he grumbles.

“Of course you will.” There’s a hint of a laugh.

After a last attempt at getting free, Yuri sighs. “I yield.”

He lets him go instantly. Yuri sits and rubs his arms, his entire front is muddied. If he doesn’t get it cleaned before Grandpa returns he’s going to be so pissed. “That’s right, Grandpa is gone! I can take you home.”

Otabek stares at him, it doesn’t matter that he doesn’t smile, Yuri can do it for the both of them.

“Come on, he is out in town, won’t be back for hours and we can clean this up.” He waves at both the messes on their clothes.

He rubs the back of his head, probably spreading the mud there too, and glances away. “I can do it on the stream.”

As he turns away, he takes his coat off. Otabek isn’t having much luck cleaning it or himself, somehow he’s gotten even dirtier, and Yuri’s clothes are starting to stick to him as the mud dries.

“We could eat something, I could cook for you.”

He considers it for a moment, then shakes his head.

Yuri opens his mouth, still not sure how to argue, but loud thunder and heavy rain come to his rescue. Who’d have thought the shitty weather would be useful for once. Now they have to go home unless he wants to get hit by lightning or catch something.

Before Otabek can even stand up, Yuri takes off running. “Last one there is a rotten egg.”

“I don’t know where you’re going!” Most of his voice is lost in the rain.

Quick and careful not to slip, he glances back, only the trees are there. Awesome, it’s the first time he is winning a race against him. The winds of change are blowing. Soon he’ll be fast enough to leave him in the dust and strong enough to hold him down.

Once on top of the largest hill, his home is visible on the next, smaller one and he can taste sweet victory. It’s alone, not even Victor is there, luck really is on their side. Otabek is closing by, if Yuri wins, he will have to admit he is old enough to do whatever he wants. There will be no more excuses. They’ll be on an equal footing.

The wind keeps blowing on his ear, so he doesn’t hear him catching up until both of them are reaching forward to touch the front door. Screw that, he didn’t make it this far to lose right at the end. Before Otabek can touch it and yank victory away from his fingertips, Yuri throws himself into it.

He wins...and falls on his face once the door slams open, but the important thing is that he won. Holding his nose, he turns to Otabek. “Ha! Now you have to take me to the Autumnlands.”

“No.” And that’s that, he shoots him down again. Otabek takes off his muddy shoes at the door and walks inside.

Unbelievable, he can’t possibly expect him to wait until he is an old man to let him touch the damn tree. Through gritted teeth, he says, “Take all your clothes off.”

Otabek whirls around, eyes a little wider than usual and holding his hands across his chest. His shirt is nowhere to be found. "I'd rather not."

"Don't be ridiculous, we need to wash it." Yuri steps close and starts undoing his pants.

Otabek stops him, and when Yuri doesn't give up, he twists his arm until he does and then runs to lock himself in his room. He stares at the door, what the fuck just happened? Shit, he must have upset him somehow. Always, without fail, he manages to get the guest offended. Knocking softly on the wood, he calls out to him. "I'm sorry, please come out."

No answer. He can’t stay there forever, this day sucks, they’ve been out of sync for the entirety of it. There must be something he can do, something that will make him feel better and fix the wedge between them. What would Grandpa do? That’s easy, cook him the most delicious meal he’s ever had!

Though he doesn’t have much experience, he always hovers around when Grandpa cooks, it should be simple enough. Yuri sets off to work in the kitchen, and after an hour or so of doing his best to replicate Grandpa’s cooking, he sets the resulting monstrosity aside with a mental note to bury it later. Instead, he cooks some eggs. They’re made with love and effort, and being in the same room with them doesn’t make him cough his lungs out, so they’re perfect. If  _ anyone  _ complains, he’ll hit them with the plate in the head until one of them breaks.

Yuri knocks on the door and calls at him to open. Again, there is no answer, but the dirty clothes are outside the room. When he tries the knob, it turns. The room is dark, Otabek is spread out sleeping face down on his bed, tangled in his blankets like he belongs there. Yuri tiptoes into the room, puts the eggs on his bedside table, dumps the clothes to wash, and stands outside the room, looking at him as he slowly closes the door. It’s too comfortable looking to be refused, but he has things to do.

If only things could stay that way forever, or at least for a week, they would be able to spend more than one day with each other. If they didn’t have to be apart for months, they could be like normal friends. Their lives are so unfair, they can’t even enjoy one moment of rest together.

He cracks the door open and looks at him just a little bit more. Someday, when Otabek is older, he can move into town, and they can make the dream a reality. They can kick Victor out of the room if he feels like renting that one.

“You seem pleased with yourself.”

Yuri shrugs, still smiling. When he realizes who just talked to him, he turns around and stands straight and stiff. It’s too early, he shouldn’t be home yet.

Grandpa’s been standing behind him, arms crossed, wet from head to toe, and on a pool of water and mud. Mud that Yuri’s been trailing behind himself for a while and has spread through the entire house.

Grandpa eyes him up and down. “I’ve told you not to cook when you’re alone, and to remove your dirty clothes outside. I saw what you did, you’re cleaning it yourself, though I should be thankful you didn’t burn down the house.”

“Otabek was here so I wasn’t alone.” The excuse is out in an instant, he points back at the room and then cringes. He wasn’t supposed to know about the two of them, he will make him cut ties with him.

Grandpa glares at him, then closes his eyes and shakes his head. “Otabek? The knife boy?”

Shit, if he hadn’t opened his mouth, he could have made him pass for any old friend.

“Yuri, go clean the kitchen.” Grandpa is cold and stern.

“But—”

“Go clean the kitchen.”

Yuri gives one last glance to the room. Otabek is awake now, looking their way, holding the sheets to his chest and trying to make himself as small as possible.

Before walking away, Yuri mouth a “sorry” to him. Is Grandpa going to kick him out forever? Forbid him from seeing each other?

The mess in the kitchen is overwhelming, nowhere is good to start. When Yuri is done moping, he picks up his  _ creation _ and takes it outside where it can’t hurt them anymore. If he dumps it there an animal might eat it, or it might stay there forever. He’ll just take it to Victor’s room and be done with it. If he tells him he made it especially for him, he might be able to guilt him into eating it.

When Yuri comes back, Otabek is sitting at the table in some of Grandpa’s clothes, as he cooks. His eyes are a little red and watery, he doesn’t mention it but offers a smile. If Grandpa didn’t like him, he wouldn’t be cooking for him. Whatever they talked about, he approves. His two favorite people getting along, what could be better than that?

The food is delicious. They mostly stay silent as they eat, aside from a small interrogation. If he behaves and stays on Grandpa’s good graces until the end, he’ll be free to visit whenever he wants.

It’s going so well, Yuri dares to ask. The silence is too long for the simple, “No,” that follows.

“Why?” Yuri whines and flinches. He sounded just like the little kid he was trying to convince Otabek he wasn’t hours earlier.

“Because you are grounded.” The words are final.

Yuri’s lip trembles and he bites it. Not in front of Otabek.

Grandpa loosens up the frown, and gives a tiny sigh.”But if you behave for the next six months, I might let you go next year.”

That means he’s going for sure. It is the best day ever! Yuri jumps into his arms, even Otabek looks happy from his seat at the table. The corners of his mouth aren’t pointing directly down for once.

What should they do first when he gets there? What should they see? What even is there to see? He’s never asked what that place is like, or what there is to be done. Better that way, it’ll be a surprise. If Otabek comes from there, then it must be great. Everything will be new, and enchanting, and he will know a little more about him. And this awkwardness that has followed them all day will be gone because they will finally be on the same footing.

 

* * *

 

Yuri jumps up and down in his place in front of the tree, when the sun stops touching the horizon, it will be the moment. Putting his hand on it should be enough, according to Otabek. It’s finally time to set foot on the Autumnlands, he’s only ever seen flashes of it in Victor’s books. The drawings weren’t even in color.

For the last time, he checks that he is carrying everything: food, water, his mostly empty bag, and a jacket. Otabek insisted on that one, even if he is the one that can never stand the weather on the Springlands. He and his layers and layers of grandpa sweaters.

Finding the right moment requires looking directly at the sun for a second, it’s a good thing he isn’t there to call him stupid for it. The instant its outline stops touching the horizon, Yuri jumps forward and slams his hand on the bark. There is a flash of light, and then there he is. No pain, no dizziness, nothing.

Otabek is in front of him, the entire hill they should be on is gone. The ground is flat all around them, without grass, and there are a few more trees. The entire world is too dark.

It takes him a bit too long to get it. Of course it’s dark, Otabek said it in his first day over, the sun is gone, it never appears in the Autumnlands’ sky. Before their first meeting, he’d never seen it before.

The sun might not be there, but its presence is felt. Yuri turns his eyes away from Otabek with difficulty and raises his head towards the sky. It’s completely dark in one side, with something he knows are stars, but had never seen before. There are few of them, but it’s still breathtaking. The other side of it is lighter, with beautiful pinks, reds, and purples stroking the clouds. Few branches obstruct the view, the leaves on them a dark color, and when the wind shakes them, some of them slip off the trees.

The fallen leaves pile on the ground. When he moves his foot, they shuffle beneath him, some crunch.

Even the air is different, chilly, and less humid. He would have been in trouble if he hadn't listened about the jacket.

Otabek comes to stand next to him, not making much noise as he steps over the leaves. Both his hands are behind his back, his eyes sparkle. What evil deed is he planning?

When he notices him looking, he holds out his left hand and motions at him to take it. Yuri puts his open palm under his fist.

He puts it on his hand. “This is a rock,” he says, holding back a smile.

Yuri gives him a dirty look. He knows it’s a rock, and he knows what to do with it. Let’s see if he looks so smug when he hits him in the face with it.

“And this is a flower.”

When he raises his eyes, his entire vision is blocked by a massive flower the size of his head. It’s a soft pink with many, many petals on it. It’s nothing like the ones back home, perhaps Otabek’s obsession with them isn’t so stupid after all.

Yuri drops the rock and takes it with both hands. How can a flower be that big? Where did Otabek even get it from? There are no similar ones anywhere around them. When he raises his eyes again, Otabek is fully smiling. He’s never done that before, not like that. The day isn’t as chilly anymore.

Otabek helps him find a safe place for the flower, one where he can constantly look back and check that it’s still there. The flowers and insects of the Autumnlands are beautiful and gross. He can’t help but want to take a few of them with him. Otabek has the grace not to mention anything when he puts some in his pocket or bag. It’s his turn to show Yuri the world, and he does, but not his home or the town. They remain on their little bubble, where only the other exists, and it’s perfect. For as long as it lasts anyway.

When the day runs out (Yuri has no idea how he can tell), and it’s time to go back, Otabek gives him a hug goodbye. It’s the first time they do it since their second meeting. He’d been avoiding much contact the last couple of times. It’s wonderful, with just the right amount of pressure, and Yuri tries to put all the appreciation he feels into it. His days with Otabek are always of the best of his life.

“I’ll go next time,” Otabek calls as he touches the tree and the flash of light takes him back home.

With a smile forming on his face, he turns around, and his entire body goes cold. Victor is there, leaning on a tree with his arms crossed and his face red with anger.

“Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?” He unfolds his arms and steps forward, getting too close for comfort.

Yuri snorts, backing away. “Nothing happened.”

“You won’t always be that lucky.” He’s still going forward, forcing Yuri to walk backward into another tree.

“What are you getting so worked up about?” He has no time for this, Grandpa is waiting for him at home, probably being a nervous wreck. Yuri walks past him. “Beka always makes it through and—”

Victor grabs him by the arm so hard it’s likely to leave a bruise. “Beka?”

There goes his big mouth again. “Otabek? My friend from the Autumnlands.” Yuri tries to pull his arm away, but Victor doesn’t budge.

“You’ve been using it? For how long? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Let go, you’re being an idiot.” He doesn’t free him. Yuri might as well tell him everything and get the stupid scene over with. His flowers need water if he is to keep them as long as possible. “A few years, and I don’t owe you explanations about my life.”

“I’ve been searching for that tree since I got here.” Now he’s just whining.

Yuri rolls his eyes. “How was I supposed to know that? You’ve been refusing to tell me what you’re looking for since you got here. Maybe I would have told you if you hadn’t been such a mysterious idiot about it.”

“No one should be using that tree yet, it’s dangerous and unstable. One of you could get stuck if another person touches it while you are gone, or if your timing is even a little bit wrong.” Victor releases him to rub his face with both hands. “I’m going to be working with it from now on, when you are planning to use it, tell me and I’ll at least make sure it’s safe for you.”

He rubs his tender arm and nods before running home. The next few times Otabek and him alternate using it, he always tells Victor, and even introduces the two of them. They talk from time to time and seem to like each other.

During the months, he lets Yuri observe his work and even takes him formally as an assistant. He still tells him little to nothing and orders him around. The only real benefit is that he gets all the access to the books.

 

* * *

 

It never really bothered him until a few months ago, while in town with Grandpa to buy groceries. It was a couple of weeks after the travelers from the Summerlands arrived. At first, it was funny, everyone was paying as much attention to them as they did Victor back then. It was only a matter of time until it started to have consequences.

It was his first time seeing a public break-up, the couple had been together since they were children. There was just something amusing about people losing all sense of place when upset, so he’d stayed to watch and make sure he’d have the story straight for Beka. Then, the accusations started, and it wasn’t so funny anymore.

“I’m tired of the routine and I’m tired of you. I can’t stand by and watch my life slip away anymore,” the woman had screamed from the second floor of her house. “I want to meet new people, see new places, experience new things. I don’t have time to waste on you anymore!”

On the street, in front of all his possessions that were thrown out, the man begged. At least at first, when she wouldn’t budge, he’d gone very angry. It only got worse once her “new friend from the Summerlands” came over to help her throw out the rest of the guy’s things. That’s when Grandpa had to pull him away from the spectacle. A few days later, her house burned down.

But that isn’t important, what’s important is: what if Beka feels the same way? What if one day he comes through the tree and says, “I’m sorry Yuri, I’m tired of always doing the same thing with you. I don’t want to collect flowers and insects and play in the stream anymore. I am a man now, and I must experience new things with new people. I don’t have time for your childish antics anymore.” And then put his arm around the shoulders of a new friend and lead them away, never to return again. Lost to him, forever replacing him in his life. He’d already been pretty distant that one time he came over.

That can’t happen, Yuri will make sure that it doesn’t. That’s why when Beka crosses over, he receives him with the news and a tight hug.

“Beka, we are going to the festival today!”

Victor had suggested he take him there when he shared his worries.

Beka squeezes him tight a few seconds before releasing him. Yuri keeps his hands on his shoulders, in turn, he keeps them at his side. His smile is mostly the same as the last time they were together, but his face has changed a lot. There is stubble on it, and he has a new haircut that fits him better. Shorter at the sides, it calls for his hand to run through it. He’s also much taller, wider, and muscular and makes Yuri seem like a tiny child in comparison. The age difference between them has never been more obvious.

“Why?” His voice is deeper, more adult, and it sends little shivers down his spine. He doesn’t sound happy, but then again, he never really does.

He’s made the right call, Beka is probably tired of the same old, childish thing. “Because I thought it was time we did something new and I get to experience my first festival with you.” He smiles. “Grandpa says I’m old enough to go alone this year. His back isn’t good enough to go to town for pleasure, he only does when necessary.”

Beka smiles, patting his head lightly, and returns his hand to his waist. “Let’s get going then.”

Since they'd kept their arms around each other, Yuri hugs him again. Then, he runs down the hill, a bounce to his step. Victor stands by not far enough, ready for his tree watching duty. He’ll be guarding it and working on extracting whatever it is he wants from the roots without actually touching it.

It takes longer than other times for him to catch up to Yuri.

As they make their way to town, Beka makes some conversation.

“I’ve never been to the Autumnlands’ festivals either.”

“How come? Aren’t you old enough? Mommy won’t let you?” Yuri mocks him a little.

“Because I’m always with you.”

Oh, the warmth hits Yuri right in the chest, then goes freezing cold. Was that a complaint? Are his fears coming true? Is he blaming him for missed experiences?

Beka takes his hand, and Yuri stops his walk. His look is piercing, almost as if he can see everything inside of him, in his heart and his mind.

“Are you okay?” He frowns as he runs his hand through Yuri’s hair. For some reason, it makes his thoughts halt.

Yuri blinks a couple of times and nods once his mind begins to work again.

Beka starts to pull him down the hill. “That’s how I found you the first time. I wanted to go to the festival with my brothers, but our parents weren’t going, and they didn’t want to take care of me, so they told me if I climbed the highest tree I’d be able to see the sun. They left once I was high enough, I suspect.”

Yuri laughs and turns away to hide his dumb smile. Hard to think he’d fall for something so obvious and dumb. They hold hands until the town comes into view, as Yuri runs ahead, excited to explore.

It's way larger than he'd ever imagined, with the entire town there. The flower arrangement stands are beautiful. Does Beka use the same currency as he does? He’s never asked. Even if he does, there is no way he brought any because the festival was a surprise. Yuri checks his pockets to count what Grandpa and Victor gave him plus his savings. If there is any left by the end of the day, he will have to buy him one, just the look on his face will be worth it.

There are some games and food stands spread around, some contests going on, all sorts of things. Everyone walks into each other, and some kids run around, making adults trip on them. Stray animals try to get whatever food they can. Yuri keeps a good hold on Beka’s hand to make sure he doesn’t wander away and gets lost forever. Or spends six months with him unable to go home, which he wouldn’t have a problem with, but others would.

The flower obsession is in full display pretty soon. Yuri has to pretend he finds it annoying and pull him away so that he can surprise him with his gift at the end. Beka’s face has something like a permanent smile on it for the first few hours. Under other circumstances that would be creepy, certain that he must be planning something evil, but it’s satisfying knowing he caused it. His face is full of so much wonder that his heart soars. If his hand wasn’t holding him down, he would too.

Yuri should get an award for being such a good friend. This is one of the best days they’ve spent together.

No one really bothers them at first. But then that ugly hag Mila ruins everything when he leaves Beka alone for two seconds to go take a piss. When Yuri gets back, she is holding him by the arm and smiling up at him. Beka’s smiling time is over, and he looks like he is seriously considering chopping that arm off to get away.

“Yuri! I was introducing myself to your cute friend.” She says with her creepy smile, her groping hands still on him.

“Piss off!” He elbows her away, he’ll be damned if he lets her take his friend from him and turn him into another one of her exes. There’s too many of them around already. “Can’t you see you disgust him?”

“I actually don’t mind,” Beka says, rubbing his arm where her claws were seconds earlier.

He’s just too polite to say what he is really thinking.

“You’re overreacting.” She puts her hands on her waist. “I was just suggesting him things you could do together, you know I have a b—”

They bump into her as they leave, and Yuri turns around to scowl at her one last time. She makes a vulgar hand gesture at him. He has to put as much distance between the two of them and other people that might try to make contact. If he makes that smiley face again, no one else is allowed to see it, much less someone trying to take him away.

Mila isn’t the only one to approach them. The other boys and girls who’ve never been friendly with him all want to spend time with him now. Phichit, Kenjirou, and Seung Gil turn out to be far more dangerous than Mila. Those boys let out all the embarrassing things and secrets of his life that he has been trying to hold on to. Only Phichitt was present for most of that, and as soon as they are alone, Yuri will take his revenge.

It’s the other two that get into the lengthy conversation with Beka about the Summerlands, and if he knew some friend of theirs or other. Apparently, they all left at the same time but went to different places. None of them know Victor.

It’s supposed to be their day to enjoy together, why is everyone else getting all the attention? This is his time, his very limited time. Is it that Beka prefers socializing with others after all? On the line for a game, Yuri gives up trying to remain cool and gives him a hug. A long, long hug that he returns and it gives him moments of peace.

When they need a rest from all the people, they buy something to eat and go back up the hill, somewhere they can be alone and observe the people from above.

“Your friends are nice.”

“They’re not my friends.” Yuri cringes internally, that was a bit too forceful.

“None of them?”

Oh great, now he looks like a friendless loser. Yuri rubs the food off his fingers on his pants and tries to hide his face from him. “Mila isn’t so bad, I’ve known her all my life. Sometimes we hang out.” There, now he is casually cool and with friends… though he shouldn’t be praising Mila, that’s exactly what she wants. “But she is a terrible girlfriend.” He looks at Beka dead in the eye as he says it. It has to be very clear before he gets any weird ideas.

“I see.” Beka lowers his eyes, then focuses on the trees and the clouds. Just as Yuri is starting on his rant of all the bad things Mila has done as a girlfriend, he interrupts. “I have to go soon. It’s almost time.”

“That can’t be, you just got here and we didn’t get to do anything fun.”

He only points to the sky in response.

It’s true, the sun is low, almost touching the horizon, when it does, his chance to leave will too. Is it just him or was that too fast? Honestly, the days end faster when they want to, time is bullshit. It’s almost like it wants to mess with him specifically. Stupid tree limitations. Can’t Victor fix it with whatever he is working on?

Yuri’s shorter legs have to put some extra work in to make sure they walk together to the tree. Beka is usually a bit more considerate than that. The silence is heavy, he is probably tired because people didn’t stop talking to him all day.

Victor is still there when they reach the tree. Yuri would hug him goodbye, but then he would get teased about it for the entire six next months. His presence hangs over them, even as he tries to keep his distance. If Beka wants a hug, he will go in for it himself. He will only facilitate it by standing in front of him.

When he turns to him, Yuri lifts his arms in expectation, ready to be in his arms again.

It doesn’t happen. When he walks to stand next to the tree, he only looks in his general direction, never really seeing him.

“See ya,” he says, and then he is gone. Just like that, in a moment and without a proper goodbye. Never over the years have they had such a cold farewell.

It’s Victor’s fault for being a nosy shit. It better be the last time he hovers around while they are together.

 

* * *

 

Following the events of the last visit, Yuri is a whole new man. After getting home upset and telling Grandpa about how Mila, Victor, and the others ruined their day together, he was subjected to an extended lecture about acting like a jealous idiot and treating his friend as a person and not a thing that he owns. Those petty outbursts that defined his childhood are a thing of the past. The only one left on his apology list is Beka, and once he clears that hurdle, Grandpa will acknowledge him as the mature, young man that he is. He’s even let his hair grow out, to reflect on his personal growth.

Yuri gets to the tree a few minutes before it activates and has to put up with Victor’s stupid ramblings about safe transportation and the do’s and don’ts of traveling as if he has never done it before. The past few months have been moving extra slow, and these minutes are no different.

When he touches the tree and crosses, he runs to the person in front of him and jumps before he is even sure it’s the right one. Deep in his heart, he knows it, and that is enough. He’s hit him a bit too hard and they both fall to the ground.

It takes Beka a little more time to get up than it does Yuri, huffing and holding his back. The years are taking a toll on him already.

There is no welcome flower this time. Not that he was expecting one, it’s a dumb hobby, and he isn’t about to follow into it.

The growth he did over the months is showing on more than just his hair. Beka isn’t that much taller than him anymore. Their height difference is back to what it once was, which means he won’t look like a tiny child next to him.

The Autumnlands are also as beautiful as ever.

“You ready to go?” Beka smiles at him as he holds out his hand.

It’s a simple thing, something they’ve done many times before, but the thought of reaching out and taking it is making him nauseous. So he slaps it away and takes off running, away from Beka and that weird feeling, when he makes a motion to grab him.

The chase doesn’t last long, it never does. Yuri is faster now, but Beka knows the land better. He takes him by the waist and turns him, slamming him back first to a wide tree. Yuri gets a bit squashed when he doesn’t manage to stop on time, but time does stop for a second. After a moment, he steps back, breathing hard. At least it knocked both their breath away.

Though he pulled away, his chest is still touching Yuri, his hands are on either side of him. His cheeks are a little red, and his mouth is open as he exhales through it. A part of him wants to shout at him to stay away, but his mouth is dry, and his tongue has become useless. He settles for ducking under his arms and taking distance.

It takes Beka a few seconds to react and turn to him. “You’re going in the wrong direction.” His eyes don’t leave Yuri’s as he takes his hand, they are a little less lively than they were. The nausea is back, but before he can escape, Beka drags him the right way. “We don’t want to run out of time again.”

  
  


Beka has a lot of friends. A lot. Too many, one might even say, and all of them stare at him. One of them, a tall one with a similar undercut to Beka’s—but not as cool—reaches forward to pinch his cheek like he is some sort of child. The only reason he allows that is that he promised Grandpa he would respect his friends.

That, and among the group, there is a guy that looks too much like Beka to be any old friend. If that is who he suspects, he should make a good impression.

It's no surprise when, during the introductions, he calls him brother. And then he calls Yuri his best friend and nothing else matters but the warmth spreading through him. It's going well until he also pinches Yuri’s cheek, almost ripping it out.

"You've been real all along?"

"You knew about me?" His cheek is numb, is it still attached to his face?

"Yeah, Beka came home one day all excited about some kid he met in some magic hill. Figured he was lying when he couldn't take us back. Thought he was so lonely he made up a—ouch!" He rubs the arm that Beka just punched.

"You must be a really cool ten-year-old, to be considered Otabek's best friend," says one of his friends, JJ, with a huge, dumb smile.

"I'm fourteen." His voice picks that exact moment to go incredibly high. Sabotage, his body has been working against him since he touched that tree this morning. He turns to Beka, he should defend him from his asshole friend, but he doesn't. Could it be he still remembers the childish way he acted last time? As soon as possible, he will apologize and show him how much he’s grown.

“Oh, it was your birthday a few days ago, right?” Emil says. He gives him a hug that lifts him off his feet.

What else did Beka tell them? How much do all these strangers know about him? How many personal details? He was so free, sharing it with everyone, meanwhile, Yuru kept the secret in his heart for so long. Only for himself, for the two of them.

That should have been a hint that Beka would be fine with sharing him with his friends. Not that he doesn't like them, but he came to the Autumnlands for one person.

It started out innocent enough. When they had to sit somewhere, there was always someone in between, making sure they weren’t touching and that any comfortable conversation would be impossible. If he didn’t know better, he’d think they made an agreement not to let them interact at all.

Most of his friends are tolerable, but JJ grates him the wrong way, more than stink eye Michele. Overall, they are exhausting and have him almost scratching his face off in a few hours. The others aren’t so bad and keep him company from time to time.

Sometimes, from the front of a queue, he catches Beka glancing back at him. When their eyes meet, he is always quick to stop the contact and go back to talking with his brother or whatever friend is keeping him busy. The whole affair is giving him a headache and a bad throat ache.

Yuri did the impossible to spend some time with him during his visit, why won’t he do the same? He is doing the exact opposite and throwing him to the wolves. Did he fuck it up that bad? To the point that he doesn’t care about spending time with him anymore?

Fuck the stupid festival, and fuck his stupid friends. He breaks away from the line when they aren’t looking and loses himself among the people. His clothes don’t match the others, so he’ll be sticking out, but it’ll allow him a few minutes of peace. All he wanted was to spend the day with Beka. If they weren’t going to do that he should have told him and he could have gone home to be with Grandpa.

If he’d known his other visit would be the last one, Yuri would have done so many things different. He wouldn’t have behaved the way he did. It could have lasted longer that way. Beka wouldn’t have gotten bored, annoyed, or tired of him and their friendship so fast. It was stupid to think they’d grow to be Grandpa’s age and still visiting each other.

His friends weren’t that much better than him, though. Yuri kicks at a tree, the festival well behind him. No one even realized he was gone. They must be keeping Beka so entertained he doesn’t have time to notice he is missing. What do they offer that he can’t? Absolutely nothing. He is never having another friend like him in his life… and neither is Yuri.

He turns to lean on the tree and slides down until he is sitting on the ground. It’s so flat, all the trees look the same. There is no slope, or stream, or even any light. Only a few stars and that isn’t enough.

As good as it was while it lasted, their friendship has run its natural course, and there is nothing left to do but see it end. Crying over it is useless, it will only make things harder. No one wants to keep friends because of pity. He should go back and try to enjoy the rest of the day, as it will be their last.

Once his personal pity party is over, he heads back to the festival and finds them still in the same line, not having moved forward a single step. It better be the best thing he’s ever tasted, nothing else would justify all the waiting.

The rest of the festival goes by pretty quick. He can’t even make a scene about the food because it turned out to be really good, and also from Beka’s family stand. No one there pinches his cheek, but they do know who he is and give a little extra only to him. The others are devastated, which makes it the highlight of the day.

It’s hard to have fun without being aware of the clock ticking down on their friendship. Every moment could be their last. Yuri hasn’t learned to tell the time in this dark world. The day’s been bitter and sweet, and it should last forever, but it can’t.

It’s hard to keep his mind from wandering. Where did he go wrong? Where did he cross the line? Was it being rude to Mila? Pulling him away from places? Trying to keep him to himself? Was he too controlling?

He didn’t know better at the time. Yuri had no idea that Beka didn’t feel the same longing that he did, that he didn’t prefer his company over everyone else's. All his mistakes made him lose a friend forever.

When Beka signals that it’s time to leave, he walks him back to the tree. It’s the only real moment they have alone together in the entire day since they were last there.

Even when his entire mind screams at him not to do it, that he will only get rejected, Yuri hugs him. It’s a long one, as he is not ready to say goodbye yet, but he doesn’t get hugged back. It doesn’t matter, he puts everything he has into it because the words won’t leave him. Beka’s arms stay limp at his sides, and that is fine. It’s fine. It’s…

It’s so much worse than he ever could have imagined. It’s the end of their years-long friendship, and he doesn’t care enough about him to hug him one last time.

“Yuri—”

“Don’t say it. Don’t say anything!” Not yet, he isn’t ready yet. He doesn’t even call him by his nickname anymore, he misses being Yura. It’s confirmation that he is going to break things off. But he isn’t a heartless monster, so he will leave him with a few words. “We’ve been friends for a long time and, even if we can’t see each other often, I have strong feelings for you.

“You’re my best friend and, after Grandpa, the most important person in my life. Be—”

“What about Mila?”

“What about her?! Don’t interrupt me with stupid questions about her.” Shit, this is exactly why he lost his friendship. “Sorry, Mila isn’t important, forget her.” His eyes are getting a little wet, so he lets go of him with one hand to rub at them. “As I was saying, before I go, I just want you to know that I—”  he is scared to say it, but it’s important that he knows what his friendship has meant to him.

Beka finally hugs him back and rests his head on his.

It gives him the courage to finish. “I love you.”

Beka starts to let go almost immediately. He fucked up, he fucked up bad. Yuri shouldn’t have said it, he should have said nothing at all and played it cool. Clutching fistfuls of his coat, he raises his head, ready to take it all back before the damage becomes irreparable. Before he can say anything, Beka’s lips are on his’.

What the fuck? Yuri pushes him away and gives a step back. “Not like that.”

What is going on? After another step back, his feet get tangled in some roots. Why did he understand it like that? Wait, is it like that? It was surprising, but not that bad.

As he tries to free his feet, he loses balance and falls back. Beka raises a hand to help, and Yuri reaches for him too. Their hands miss each other by a hair, and he falls against the tree. A flash of light later, he is back in the grassy hills of the Springlands with the sun in his face.

Holy fucking shit.

 

* * *

 

Now that he’s had a few months to think about what happened, Yuri has come to the conclusion that he didn’t dislike it. It wasn’t bad, he didn’t hate it. The time to analyze things from a new perspective gave him an opportunity to get a different picture of the events of that day.

The moment to talk about it is finally here, and he is late because Victor wouldn’t fucking stop telling him about all the things he needs to finish his work with that damn tree. Couldn’t he do it some other time? He knows today is the day Beka visits him and that they have a lot of things to talk about.

What should he say? It needs to be charming, witty, and hot. He should have asked Mila about it after all. Who cares if she laughed, that is better than having Beka laugh at him.

Even though he runs at top speed, he is still about five minutes late. Hopefully, Beka didn’t move from his spot. It would be a shame if they missed each other because he did and got lost or distracted.

Should he receive him with a kiss? Act casual, like it’s no big deal, so it won’t be one, and then the relationship can advance naturally. It’s a good idea, and if Beka doesn’t like it, he can’t complain about it because he started it.

When Yuri gets to the tree, he is nowhere to be seen. There are no signs that he was around either. He waits for a few seconds, but more than five minutes missing is too long. Where is he? Did he drop by and leave again when he didn’t find him? A year is too long to see each other again. Even worse given how things ended.

Yuri sighs and touches the tree, the bright light blinds him for a second and then everything is darker, the slopes are gone. Beka is there, giving his back to the tree and walking away. He wasn't going to visit him, he didn’t even try. If he had, the tree would have been like any other.

“You’re leaving?” Thanks to his voice behaving as it should, that doesn’t sound as pathetic as it could have.

Beka stops in his tracks and turns around. They stare in silence at each other. The months apart have made his face more handsome, it shouldn’t be allowed. It’s unfair. How is he supposed to be angry at him when he looks like that?

He kicks some rocks and doesn’t bother to look his way when he says, “I had to study and thought you’d get bored so…”

“So you ditched me?” Fine, he can stay alone if that is what he wants. Yuri shrugs and turns around, “I’m going back.”

“No,” he says a little too fast.

Good, Yuri smiles.

“Actually, maybe you should, I do need to study.”

What? No, he should be trying to stop him. Yuri turns and makes his way to him. Beka looks like a cornered mouse when Yuri snatches away his books. Why are they more important than he is? The covers are familiar, too familiar, he’s been seeing them for years. That would sicken him any other day.

“Victor has made me read these nonstop for years, I can help you study.”

Beka doesn’t bother to hide how much he wants to refuse. It’s all over his face. Last time they were together they kissed, so why is he being so cold? It’s a complete turn. Does he regret it? Why did he do it then? Was it a mistake? Or bad?

With a sigh, Beka sits with his back to a tree, and motions at him to sit. Yuri puts the books between them, and they start the silent studying. The natural light of the Springlands would have been better for the reading, though Beka doesn’t seem to have much trouble.

“Shouldn’t have left you alone with Victor,” Yuri mutters under his breath, “now he’s got you too.”

Beka flips through one of the books, disinterested. “I’m the one that asked to get into it.”

“Ew, why?” Working with him is so boring, most of the time they just sit by the tree and write the tiniest of details. Sometimes they try to experiment with the bark when it’s inactive, but that isn’t any fun either.

“I want to know what makes it possible for us to be together every six months and if we can find a way to make it permanent.”

“Fuck, we can do that?” That would change everything.

He nods. “There are stories from years ago, hundreds, that talk about a door that could transport people to any of the Lands. If we can rebuild it, I could visit you more often.”

The cute blush that covers Beka’s cheeks almost strikes Yuri dead. Hope blooms in his chest once again. He does want to see him and keep being friends. Friends. Is that what they are after all? Was that kiss meaningless? What would Mila do?

“I got asked out some weeks ago,” Yuri says, checking his fingernails, cool and disinterested. That’ll make him confess in no time. Mila did it two boyfriends and a girlfriend ago, and they were making out not two hours later.

“Oh.”

That's it? Oh? “And then again this week.” He side-eyes him, but there isn’t much of a physical reaction.

The silence stretches until he sets down the book and looks his way. “Why are you telling me this?”

Yeah, why is he telling him? He never considered it or thought about it after the fact. “Friends tell each other these things.”

“Hm, right, friends,” he mutters, going back to his book.

It’s going nowhere, he should stop pushing it. “It was for today.”

Beka shuts his book and starts to pick up the others, even snatching the one in his hands away. “You should leave right now then, we don’t want to make them wait. Maybe we should stop bothering with this thing too.”

He gets up and walks away, while Yuri sits speechless by the tree.

Did he just get dumped by someone he never dated? He stands, clenching his fists, breathing hard, and gritting his teeth. Does he need to make all the damn moves here? If he is not mistaken, Otabek likes him, he kissed Yuri first. Why start something he doesn't intend to see to the end? What changed? And why not say it face to face instead of having Yuri guess and make an idiot of himself?

Did he imagine it? Was it a mistake he is trying to gloss over? Is there someone else? He refused several dates for him, that asshole. The least he could do is kiss him again as he holds him against the tree, then whisper in his ear about how he’ll never have to consider going out with someone else because they are meant to be.

Otabek is mistaken if he thinks Yuri cares enough to go after him. He isn’t a child with impulsive reactions anymore, he won’t run after him. He is cool, mature, and suave, he won’t lower himself like that.

“You asshole!” Yuri screams as he runs past the trees and tackles Otabek by the waist. The books fall out of his hands as they fall face first. Yuri tries to shove his face in the ground, but he turns around under him and throws him sideways. He gets up fast and straddles him, then struggles to stay on top while Otabek tries to get free. “You’re just walking away?”

It’s not really possible to get his hands on him, Otabek is pretty good at holding him back. Their hands are clasped together between them, he tries with all his might to pin him down. It’s a thing he’s never once managed to do.

“Am I supposed to sit there and take it? All your hints? I get it already.” Otabek turns them around, Yuri’s back hits the ground, and it’s him that has to try and hold him back.

If he gets pinned down, all is lost. Whatever Otabek is feeling has him frowning like never before, that is huge given his expression usually seems carved in stone. With great effort, Yuri flips them over again.

“Then explain it to me,” he says through his teeth, and then he is back on the ground again.

“Why don't you just… leave me alone? Stop rubbing it in,” he pants, red-faced. “Coward. Could’ve said it. If you wanted me gone.”

When he tries to force his arms to his chest in order to hold them together with one hand, Yuri takes the chance to free one and pull at his hair. When he yelps, he takes advantage and flips them over. For a few seconds, he overpowers Otabek.

It doesn’t last long, Otabek headbutts him and his brain rattles in his head. Asshole, that hurt. He pushes Yuri down again with a hand on his chest, and some roots and rocks dig into his back.

“It’s you. Dropping hints. You’re bored and—argh—want to see other people." It’s not working out, Yuri needs to do something better. “I’m going to knee you in the balls!”

Since he broadcasted his intentions, it’s no surprise that Otabek puts a stop to it by pinning his legs down with his own.

The fight is over, Otabek has him neutralized, and he can’t get out of it, yet, not all is lost. Yuri might not be able to knee him in the balls, but he still has his teeth. Hard as he can, he bites his shoulder.

Otabek groans and stops holding himself up, letting all his weight fall on Yuri, which knocks the breath out of him and might leave the ground encrusted to his back forever. That ends the fight for good. His limbs too heavy to lift.

Neither one moves for a long time, and they try to catch their breaths. 

“What hints?”

“Hm?”

“What hints was I dropping, I can’t think of any.”

“You know, ‘I wanna spend time with my older friends because you’re like ten and you bore me, Yura.’” The silence is all the confirmation he needs that he was right.

Once he is less tired, he starts to be aware of other things. Like Otabek’s body still on top of his own and breathing on his neck.

“You could never bore me, Yura.”

“So, you don’t want to do other stuff? New things? New people?”

“You idiot,” he mumbles into Yuri’s shoulder. “I don’t care what we do, I just want to be with you.” Otabek groans and finally lifts his head to look down at him.

It’s likely he is about to get off him and nothing else, but Yuri’s heart still beats a little faster. Shit, he is gorgeous, with his messy hair, breathing hard on top of him. Their faces are close together, he wouldn’t need to reach far. Aw, fuck it, he’s already done bad for today and Otabek kind of owes him one, so he’ll just go for it.

Yuri puts a hand on his unbitten shoulder and the other on the back of his head and pulls him down into a kiss. This time, it’s him that catches Otabek by surprise and causes him to pull away.

Damn, even his confused face is cute. Why are they overcomplicating things? “Do you like me or not?”

He takes a bit too long to think about it, but when he answers, it’s certain. “I do.”

“Then what’s the fucking problem?”

“You said it wasn’t like that.”

“Well, it’s like that now. What about it? Is there any other problem?”

Otabek’s eyes wander left, then right. “No. Nothing, I guess.”

“Then why aren’t you kissing me?”

“Sorry, I’ll get right to it.”

And he does. When Yuri leaves, it’s with a promise for another visit and a cute little flower in his hair.

 

* * *

 

The studying wasn’t an excuse to create distance between them. Since Beka picked it so late in life, and not as a young child, he has to do a lot of catching up to do if he wants to help Victor with the portal. So, of course, Yuri has to help him study, because one day of break is apparently too much to ask for, even if it’s all they’ve done on the past three visits.

“‘We’ll have all the time in the world to ourselves when the job is done,’” Yuri mocks.

“We will.”

Yuri rolls his eyes and throws the book aside. He’s gone through it so many times while assisting Victor he’s memorized it already. Hugs and kisses don’t get him much attention anymore. “We only see each other twice a year, and you ignore me for a good part of it.”

Beka finally looks at him and gives him a tiny kiss on the nose. It’s cute but not nearly enough or even close to what he wants.

“I’ll be taking the exam this year, if I pass, they’ll allow me to work on the tree in the Autumnlands. Victor says if we both work on it, it’ll go much faster.”

“Where are you even taking that test?” It’s not like the general population is aware of it or like it’s close to other towns. Travel takes months or years, will they not see each other while he goes and takes it?

“Victor agreed to do it and certify me.”

“Victor can do that?” So he doesn’t sit at home all day being a failure? He’s never offered while he bosses him around. Yuri already knows a lot from his assistant job and helping Beka study. “If I get certified, would it work faster?”

“It wouldn’t hurt.”

“Hm, do you wanna go splash around in the stream?” He wiggles his eyebrows.

Beka replies by throwing the book away and then some of his clothes. Victory!

  
  


Once they get certified, on separate rooms because they can’t stop making eyes at each other, they are free to spend their days together again. On their first free day, they get to be lazy by the stream, splash around, and walk holding hands. It’s not easy to decide how they should spend it when they want to do everything and nothing.

They tell each other about the goings-on in their lives. It’s calm and comfortable as they sit together. A nice day. They even eat with Grandpa and Victor. They make an odd family, with people from all over the Lands, only one missing for the set.

Victor keeps looking at Beka, it’s weirding them out. Not to make a scene, but the one making urgent eyes at his boyfriend should be him. It's disturbing, so much they can't even play footsie under the table. He clears his throat, and Victor gets to eating again, only to return to the same a few minutes later.

It isn't until finishes washing all the dishes that he notices the two of them are gone. That and there are noises coming from the bathroom. Figures he would follow him in, Yuri knocks as hard as he can without throwing down the door.

Beka opens and covers Victor from view the best he can as he sneaks away. There better be a good fucking explanation for that. Yuri gets as far as opening his mouth to complain, but Beka has other ideas. He cups his face and kisses him. Every time he breaks away to complain, he chases him to continue. And well, he isn't made of stone.

They take Grandpa's cough as their cue to take it outside. Beka is all over him on the grass, he won't allow a word or even a little distance between them. As much as he'd like to scandalize people with a good public fucking, they're still right in front of Grandpa's house. They didn't manage to make it to the stream.

He has to push Beka away and put a hand over his mouth to make sure he gets a word in. "What's gotten into you today?" Not that he lacks passion other times, but things are getting a little out of hand.

The first thing he does once his mouth is free is lean down to kiss him again. "It's—you just look really good today."  He runs his fingers through Yuri's hair.

So does he, and it takes everything in his power to not push him down and devour him.

"I know I never said it back but, you're one of the most important people in my life too. I love you." Another kiss. "Like that."

Yuri smiles and shoves his head playfully. "You're so sappy, how did I ever think you were cool?"

Beka takes his hand and kisses it, then leans his forehead on Yuri's. When he gets bored of that, he spends the next ten minutes holding on tight to him, squashing him to the ground and breathing deeply on his neck. If he falls asleep there, it would be one of the only ways they could wake in each other's arms. The next six months are going to be so long.

Beka refuses to move from his spot on top of Yuri and his lips for much of the day. Eventually, he convinces him they should get to the stream, where they spend a few hours. It's mostly Yuri finding lewd shapes on the clouds and Beka caressing Yuri's face with all sorts of flowers. It's annoying, in an endearing way.

Sometimes he gets a serious look on his face, and like he is about to speak, but always ends up with him becoming the snuggle monster. Yuri's lips are going to be swollen for the rest of the year. In retaliation, he gets a few love bites on him. Then, he joins him briefly in finding shapes to the clouds and both, impresses and shocks him. He doesn't look like the type to have those sorts of thoughts. It does confirm his long-standing theory that the boy is a grade-A pervert.

Sooner than it's necessary though, he insists that they go to the tree.

"Why? We still have time."

"We need to talk, I've been trying to find the right moment, but I couldn't."

Yuri's stomach drops. It was too good to be true, nothing good can come of that. He nods, and they walk there in silence, arms linked.

Victor is already waiting by the tree. Why are they tag teaming him? Are they cheating on him?! Yuri rolls his eyes to himself, that is ridiculous. Victor is too old and bald to be attractive, and he is living, walking proof that Beka has a better taste than that.

The two of them share a look, then Victor stares at the floor while Beka rests a hand on his neck. "We've found a way to rebuild the portal."

Yuri laughs, the pressure that had been building on his chest releases. It can be like in the old tales, free travel among them. But if it’s such good news, why the long faces? It’s not a celebratory mood, and his smile dies pretty quickly. The air gets a little thin, and he has to wrap his arms around himself.

Victor clears his throat and steps forward. “To make it work, we’ll need to chop it down, and we don’t know when we’ll have it up and working.”

Oh, that means they won’t be seeing each other again. At least not for a while. What the fuck? “Why did you keep this from me? Since when did you know? I’ve been working on this as much as the two of you have,” he shouts, taking a step back. Once he calms down, he continues, “How long? Why wait until the last minute? Why not earlier?”

Beka holds him by the shoulders. “I told him I would do it but didn’t dare make it real. Sorry.”

Yuri blinks fast, willing his tears away and shoves him. “So you let me be the only idiot in the dark?” He turns to Victor and says, “get the fuck out of here, I will deal with you later.”

“Yura, I’m not fighting with you in our last meeting.”

In our last… in our last meeting. “Don’t you Yura me.” He pushes him again, but he holds his arms and twists him around, hugging him from the back.

“I’ll come back, we’ll work every day to make sure of that.”

“I won’t. You can stay away forever for all I care.” Yuri continues to struggle for a few more seconds, then stops. He can’t keep it up, all his strength is draining out of him. When Beka softens up his hold, Yuri turns around to hug him. They hold each other tight.

He kisses Yuri’s cheek and then whispers in his ear, “Wait for me, please. I’ll make it back to you, you know I will. I promise. We found each other once, we will do it again.”

Will they though? Yuri presses his eyes shut, shaking his head and holding on tighter. The first time was all chance, pure dumb luck. They could have missed each other so easily. They can’t know how long they will be apart, there are no guarantees. Time can do all sorts of things to relationships, and theirs was always running on such little time. Two days a year. That’s nothing. He could get more in a week on the Autumnlands.

“You could stay here, we could be together like normal couples, see each other every day until we get sick of it.” He’s started scratching at his back.

“You know the portal needs to be worked on both sides.”

“We can send Victor there a-and you can stay.”

Beka pulls apart, cups his face, and looks him in the eyes. “Yura, you know I love you, but my entire life is there.”

And he isn’t willing to give it up for him, just like Yuri isn’t willing to leave his Grandpa and his home for him. Their love isn’t strong enough. If it can even be called that. How could he have fooled himself into thinking that it could work? They were doomed from the start. Yuri clenches his sweater, stifles a moan and then lets him go.

He is still being held, so Yuri pushes him away one last time. Otabek calls his name as he runs away. It takes all his strength not to turn around and run back to him. If he loves him as he says, he will come after him. If he loves him, he’ll come after him. If he loves him…

When Yuri gets to the stream, the halfway point from home to the tree, he turns around. No one is there. No one rushes through the trees after him. No footsteps scare the birds but his own. No one shouts his name, calling for him to come back. He is gone. Otabek is really gone, and he is the one that let him go.

Hands to his mouth, trying to drown his sobs, Yuri falls to his knees. When the footsteps finally come, he raises his head only for what little hope was left to shrivel and die.

It’s Victor, quiet and hesitant, so unlike his usual self. He is the last person Yuri wants to see, the one that ruined it all and kept everything from him. This is all his fault. If he had never come to town or provoked Yuri into following after him, then none of it would have happened. His heart would still be in one piece. They never would have met, and he would be happy.

“I hate you! I hate you both!” The rock he throws doesn’t hit him. It’s a pathetic throw that doesn’t even get halfway there. There is so much pity in his eyes, it’s disgusting.

The only person that’s ever loved him is waiting at home, he has no need to lay there and put up with this shit.

Victor doesn’t follow when he runs home. Doesn’t bother him during the weeks he is locked in. Doesn’t do anything, until he chops down the tree.

 

* * *

 

The first weeks after he left were hard. Every day, he had to fight the urge to run to the tree and beg for it to bring him back, as he did so many years ago. It didn’t work then, and it would never work. Where the tree once stood in that hill, is nothing. Never again will he touch it and be transported to find Otabek waiting for him.

As the years go by, it gets harder. Each day of work brings them closer to the day they will get the portal to work. They have tried many times and failed. When they set the doorway on the hill, and they open it to find it leads nowhere, some relief sneaks in among the swirl of feelings.

The longer it goes, the scarier it becomes. What will they find on the other side? An Otabek that waited for him years and worked hard to find his way back to him, as Yuri has done, or one that moved on soon after and never once looked back?

Turns out that after cutting down the tree, they have a time limit of five years to get it working before the magic dies out. Once it does, their chances die with it, along with their hope. The deadline is closing by, and they still don’t know what it is they are doing wrong.

Drinking his sorrows at night with Victor doesn’t bring them any answers, but it helps them get by with their sanity. It’s fine to get sentimental since they can pretend they don’t remember seeing each other cry in the morning. No one mentions what happens the night after a failed attempt. They rise and keep going forward. It’s been that way for almost five years, and it will be that way for the weeks they have left.

From time to time, the doubt starts eating at him. What if the reason it isn’t working is that there is no one on the other side anymore? Did something happen to him? Did he lose hope?

Yuri picks up his latest sketch. “Every time I make a new one, it has less detail to it. I can’t even remember if it looks like him anymore. Maybe I’m just copying the first ones, and I’ve long forgotten him already.”

Victor takes the sketch and examines it. “Hm, your shitty art skills probably don’t help.”

Yuri side-eyes him as he sets the sketch down and rests his head on the table.

“I can’t remember his voice either, or what it felt to be in his arms.” Victor looks comfortable down there, so he mimics the position. His tears track sideways. “Couldn’t tell you what we used to talk about either, I only remember how much I love him and how much it hurts to be forgetting him.”

“Maybe it’s for the best, you did pretty much break up with him when he left. Maybe he moved on, and we are but a vague, distant memory of his youth,” Victor says and immediately starts snoring.

What the fuck? He’s supposed to offer drunken comfort, not stab him in the heart. Let’s see who carries him to bed now, he can stay there and complain about his old man back in the morning until the end of time. Yuri goes stumbling to his room and falls to his bed.

How can he be so sure that what he feels is love, when he’s forgotten so much? Maybe it was puppy love after all, and it couldn’t stand the test of time. Though if that were true, why does it still hurt so much? There isn’t a day he is not on his mind. The safest path would be to try and put a stop to it, pull it from the roots, but he can’t bring himself to. He promised.

  
  


Victor is so stupid in the mornings after a Failure Drink Night. Why does he feel the need to get into his room and wake him up in annoying ways? Shouldn’t he be in the kitchen, complaining to Grandpa about his back while giving two-inch steps? Whatever fluffy thing he keeps running through his face needs to go. Up his butt, preferably.

“I swear, if I open my eyes it’ll be to bitch slap your face off.”

That only makes him run it over his nose faster. At least it smells nice, whatever it is. In a fast move, Yuri holds onto his hand and gives him his best killer glare. It’s not Victor in front of him. Crouching next to his bed is someone he hasn’t seen in years and feared he never would.

Yuri is off the bed and on him in a second. The two of them hit the floor, along with some of the blankets. He presses his nose to his neck as he hugs him. It’s coming back to him, hitting him all at once. His face is a little different, but everything else is the same. What being in his arms is like, the way he holds him and runs his fingers through his hair. How could he have doubted it?

Beka smiles up at him, but before he can say anything, Yuri kisses him. They’ll have time to catch up later. First, he’ll kiss him until his lips bleed. If only he would stop trying to talk.

Sighing, he breaks away. “Really? I haven’t seen you in five years and you want to talk? What is it? It better be good.”

“Victor is passed out in the kitchen with an alarming amount of empty bottles.”

“Don’t concern yourself with it.” He goes for a kiss but gets stopped by three fingers on his lips.

“He doesn’t know the portal is running yet, but I assume he will want to go home right away.” When Yuri nods, he removes his fingers and continues. “Now that the portal between our Lands is open, I’ve been given a new job.”

“If you tell me that you are leaving me again…” He doesn’t finish the threat because he isn’t sure what he is capable of doing at this point. All he knows is it won’t be pretty.

“I won’t if you don’t want to.” He runs a hand up and down Yuri’s back, but it’s the opposite of calming.

“What is it?”

“The guy working on the Winterlands portal is having a bit of trouble with his tree.”

“The Winterlands?” Is he serious? Now he just wants to make him bleed. People don’t go to the Winterlands, people flee from the Winterlands. Why would he agree to this? “Do you even know how to get there or how long that will take?”

“About three years to get there, and we can come back in an instant when we open the portal.”

“Three years?” He places a hand on his cheek. No, not again. “But then—wait, ‘we’?”

He gives a sheepish smile and shrugs. “If you want to.”

It’s hard to resist kissing him again, so he doesn’t even try it. Yes, he wants to, he’s always wanted to. Then, reality crashes on him. “My Grandpa—”

“Is as strong as an ox, according to him, and will be here when we return. He is also very offended you doubt this.”

“That’s true, but the Winterlands? I’ve heard that the sun is a rare occurrence and that it’s extremely cold. There is a reason people leave that place.”

“There are reasons people stay too. They say the sky is beautiful, that the moon and the stars always shine bright. That the water is solid and people dance on it. And flowers the size of your head bloom on it.”

“I know, I know. I’ve read the same books you have.”  He kisses him three more times. “Those bloom on the Autumnlands too.” Yuri nods to the place he kept the giant flower Beka gave him the first time he visited him, and some of the others.

A sweet smile is all acknowledgment he gets of them. “Those are different.”

“Fuck. Fine, I’ll go.” Beka kisses him properly then. It’s almost like he is surprised he accepted. But it’s not like he would be able to let go of him again even if he wanted to. “But I have some—let's set out some—how long until—” Boy is dying of thirst and Yuri is the last glass of water. He doesn’t let him get a single phrase through. Before they leave, he needs to know all the details. After a little struggle, he manages to ask, “Will you let me talk?”

“No.”

“You shit.”

“You started it.”

True, what goes around comes around, Yuri will just accept it as his punishment. No need to think of the details at the moment. Grandpa and Victor can visit each other any time they want. Grandpa can even go to his homeland and back in the blink of an eye. Not to mention he has never been anything less than truthful to Yuri, if he doubted he would be here to see them back, he would have said it.

When they kiss, Yuri is smiling too much into it. Little laughs escape him every so often. It’s too much, he can’t keep it quiet any longer, he has to say it. After another laugh, he pats Beka’s shoulder.

“You’ve shrunk.” Throughout their time together, he used to be so much larger than him. Tall and imposing. “Were you always this tiny?”

Beka puts his smirking mouth close to his ear and whispers something absolutely filthy into it.

**Author's Note:**

> And we cut here before the smut happens.  
> [My other stuff](https://april-storm-af.tumblr.com/Fanfic)
> 
> Late entry for the Seasons prompt for the Pillowfort Otayuri Week back in March.
> 
> If I could add 3 words it would be 15,555


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